Drowning

As I sit and write this post it's January and we're about to get our first real snow. No swimming around here anytime soon. But I'm going to write the post and save it for later because I can't get the mental picture out of my mind.

I saw a link to a site about identifying your kid drowning. And it had this picture with it

And it's not the picture above that sticks in my mind, but the picture permanently etched into my mind of my son almost drowning. And that's what will give me bad dreams tonight. So, I'm going to share the story with you so that you don't go through what we did.

Last summer while visiting some friends, we headed to the community pool. It was a cool spot with shallow areas that got progressively deeper, fun slides, and all kinds of kid entertainment. But this momma was at a pool with 3 kids who couldn't swim and I was nervous. Fortunately my friend's kids could swim so she was able to help me with mine. Scott had gone down the slide several times after we finally moved away from the super shallow area. As I stood nearby chatting with my friend, I watched as Scott was playing in the water. He was having tons of fun jumping around in the water and splashing like crazy. I was glad he was having fun and kept chatting with my friend. And then I realized what was going on. And to this day it takes my breath away.

He wasn't jumping and splashing.

He was drowning.

He can't swim. He was sinking, hitting bottom (which wasn't too far down) and jumping back up in panic gasping for air. And I thought he was having fun splashing! I watched him do this for at least 10 seconds, but what seemed like minutes after the fact, before I realized it. I rushed over and grabbed him, moving him a few feet closer where it was shallow enough for him to stand.

My kid can't swim. It's odd to think of because I was practically a fish growing up. As I type this, I shared the story briefly with my husband. He has no clue how scared I was. Neither does my girlfriend or my son. But I was scared. It still scares me to think of it.

So, what should I do next time? What should you do?

Get your child swimming lessons. Learn to recognize signs of drowning. And don't assume they're splashing in the water.

Artificial Twins

When you adopt a child within 9 months of age of an existing child in your home, in the adoption world they call that artificial twinning.  It's not recommended, or allowed, by some adoption agencies.  Not understanding why, I asked Holt (our agency) why that had that unwritten rule.  The concerns are for that newly adopted child to have his own identity.  To be in his own class at school.  Like most moms, I thought I knew best.  I argued that Holt's theories while valid, weren't flawless.  After all, with Bethany and Scott having summer birthdays, they could go either way on their grade.  I argued that if we home-school some day, they won't have separate classes anyway.  In the end we have our two youngest who are seven months apart.

Identity so far hasn't been an issue for Judah.  In fact, being so close in age has really helped him.  He is bonded TIGHT with Scott.  While Scott tends to be his security blanket, Bethany is his favorite playmate. I heard the two little ones playing last night and as I walked by the stairs, I saw two little kids coming down the stairs on their bottom like a train.  It was adorable so I had to grab the camera.  Check out my two little artificial twins who, almost 2 years after bringing Judah home, seem to have no identity issues.

The only identity issues are Bethany's.  Besides clarifying that she's 4and a half, she also likes to dress herself.  Much to her momma's dismay, she doesn't always match perfectly and her style is a little eclectic.  When I saw her getting dressed yesterday morning she had a striped shirt and the striped tights.  I asked her to pick a different shirt cause stripes and stripes don't match.  This is what she came down wearing:

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Mexico City

Our church is partnering with a church in Mexico City.  This week, some of my friends are there on construction and painting trip.  I loved my first trip to Mexico City and Huixquilucan in 2008.  I look forward to being able to go back in the future.  Until then, I have a few pictures to share from their week so far:

Painting the church is a big task!

Love this!

2 walls went up and water tanks set (top right).

Doing something with wire...

DramaGirl

She may be my mini-me, but that drama must be thanks to her Auntie :) My wild little girl has had quite the week, including the song she's singing about me not knowing anything but God does and then stopped to ask me if God's disciples know anything. So, she's not just drama, but also RANDOM! And maybe trying to stay awake.

This week she had a rough week. On Monday Judah hit her in the head with a plastic bat. Ryan caught it on video and pasted it to facebook. Then last night, after getting trouble and confessing to the sitter that she couldn't sleep with the boys when she gets in trouble, she was moved to the spare bedroom. At 130am, she some how fell out of bed and was screaming like mad. I was super tired and not wanting to be awake. Snuggling her in bed didn't quiet here and in those few moments, I wished that she was still breast-fed so I could let her latch on and hush her up! Tired mom + being woke up in the midnight hours = grumpy mom. She managed to scrape her side of her foot, had a little gash in it, and complained of her fore-head hurting. Did she hit that bruised bump she got from the baseball bat?

This morning she told me her face hurt when she swallowed. I picked her up tonight and the side of her face is bruised. I guess that's where she hit when she face planted. So we get home and we have a big puddle on the concrete slab where our garage will be built. Clearly each child was told to stay out of it. As soon as I got done with a potty break, I watched all 3 of them choosing to disobey. The boys were running through the center of the 2" deep puddle, wet up to their calves, and running over to grab mud to throw into the water. Bethany was racing through the puddle on a trike. I watched them have fun for a few minutes before going out to stop them. While stripping down to their skivies on the porch, Bethany says amusingly that they probably wouldn't get to have their planned movie night. Imagine that!

Inside for supper, she thinks we should snuggle and assures me that I need someone to snuggle with until Daddy gets home. Oh Bethany, I will gladly lay alone in bed until Daddy gets home! She insists and as I type, she's curled up next to me wiggling around non-stop. I think I'm going to let her fall asleep, then sneak out of the room so that her daddy can snuggle with the wiggle worm when he gets home :)

Tea/Coffee Party

When I informed my daughter that some kids would be coming over to play, she immediately began preparing for a tea party for the girls. She was so precious and she ran around paying attention to each small detail. She had her finest mis-matched tea set on the table. Like her classy momma, she knew that the party needed a little more than tea. Not knowing exactly how many girls were coming, she grabbed a hand full of the following items for her friends: a baby doll to play with, a hat, and a bag of goodies.

Our friends arrived - 3 of them girls and 3 of them boys. You can imagine the excitement in the house between the 9 kids. Bethany took on hostess duties immediately handing out her goodie bags. And no sooner than the tea party started, the kids were all headed out to the trampoline. That's how it goes sometimes. We get all prepared for what we want to do and what we think our friends want to do but it doesn't happen that way.

A few hours later when all the friends had gone home, Bethany became one sad little girl. She was heart-broken that the girls didn't have a tea party with her. It was so sweet watching her and so sad seeing her sadness. So, the two of us had a simple little tea party while I ate my supper and I promised her a full out tea party Sunday afternoon.

This afternoon came and we both almost forgot. As supper time rolled around, I was reminded of my promise. I stopped what I was doing and began preparing for a tea party. With fancy Ethiopian coffee dishes.

She was so excited as we prepared for the party. She cleaned off her dollies and toy tea sets, we grabbed a table cloth, brewed some watered down coffee, added some milk and began enjoying our coffee/tea party with Judah along for the fun. She served like the kind-hearted little girl that she is.

Judah did better at drinking coffee than serving.

They were both careful and serious about this party. Bethany couldn't wait to have the sugar that was in the coffee (there was none).



And like the knight and shining armor that he is, when Daddy came home, he joined his precious little princess for a cup of coffee. She adores him as you can tell in this picture:

"Cheers"... do you do that with coffee the same way you would with a glass of wine???
And if you can't tell by this picture, the adoration is mutual between these two. Oh how I love them.

Easter Pics

What a day to celebrate --- the risen Lord. We were down in central Iowa for the weekend hanging out with some new friends and with family. This morning we started the day off right with St@rbux, I mean, worshiping the King who rose from the grave. After church, and a big lunch with Ryan's side of the family, we have a very simple Easter egg hunt. I'm so thankful that my kids were excited for their piddly, but cute, little baskets. Here are a few pictures:

The first is of Judah having sat on this concrete yard decoration. The turtle "bucked" him off and he winced but got right back on and I caught this look with the camera... do you think he was mad at the turtle for bucking him off?

As usual my 3 are hard to get pictures of. Someone's (if not all of them) usually not participating! So, we're thankful for any decent individual or group pictures. Here's Scott.
I looked at the camera after snapping this short and loved it. When I looked at it on the computer tonight, I loved it even more. If you fast forward 20+ years, this could be a wedding photo shot. If you would have seen the picture that's more zoomed out, you'd know her dress isn't fluffed around her at all and she's not sitting very lady-like. Oh well, she's still stunning.
And my little cheeser. Such a fake smile for him. But a handsome little boy regardless.
And one of all 3. There really wasn't a "best" one at all. But they're mine and I love them.
Happy Easter everyone. Thank you Uncle Mike and Aunt Betty for once again opening your home to all of us!

Crummy Day

Yesterday was a crummy day for me. At the end of the day, I couldn't remember all the crummy moments. Not because I was such a good mom and made a point to forgive and forget. No, I couldn't remember because the moments were so many. I thought about blogging about it and giving a few examples. And then at the end of the day, as I was getting ready to put the kids in bed, I got a phone call from a friend.

My friend told me about her crappy weekend. My heart aches for all the crap they're going through. I can't imagine having people be so hateful to me. A righteous anger fills my mind when I hear about they're hurt. And in those moments, I don't dare share about my crummy day.

As I hang up the phone, I know that my day could be worse.

Today I talked to my sister on the phone. My nephew has been in the hospital almost a week. Dealing with the emergency room docs, my nephew's GI issue, and his severe pneumonia have made for a rough week. Doing it as a solo parent doesn't make it any easier.

As I hung up the phone, I know that my day could be worse.

May these two stories help me remember how truly blessed I am.

My Plan

Maybe I haven't shared much about what my plans are for the June trip. I have a lot planned and am hoping to get it all done but I know it's a lot. My three main things are:

1. Check in on my widows I've trained in the past, provide some additional training.

2. Set up a drip irrigation system and water collection basin by installing gutters on the metal roofs of the orphanage and school buildings.

3. Check in on a site donated for widows to grow coffee trees. It's the best coffee growing area. This one I'm not really sure what I'm doing yet because I know NOTHING about growing coffee trees.

The other things I hope to do include:

1. Meet with the local ag specialists and get my ladies into a formal training program.

2. Identify some leaders of my existing ladies who will train others in the community.

3. Learn more from locals about their existing bee keeping practices.

And of course, I'll love on the kids, chase them around and play soccer pretending to be much younger than I am. I'll drink some STRONG coffee, and listen to traditional singing before they drag me into the circle to dance with them. I'll hang out with the doc while she checks kids over and follow Ryan around while he checks on the livestock. It will be exhausting but worth every ounce of energy and every penny.

Fun-filled day full of firsts

The morning started with me finding dirty little paw prints that had been in the shower and drinking out of the toilet. I checked and all the cats were outside. Having been asleep when Ryan came to bed, I assumed a cat snuck in during the day and he threw it out while I was sleeping. Imagine our surprise when we came home from church and after playing on the old hay rake with my joyful little girl...

we found this:

Bethany found the cookies on the floor and scattered on the counter. I informed Ryan that something was inside the house and told him about the paw prints. He wondered how you catch a critter that you don't know what it even is. Bethany called Grammy to inform her that she needed some new cookies. All of the above ones had the frosting licked off and partially eaten.

After lunch, I took these two wiggle worms outside for 5 minutes of swinging before they had to take naps.

With the littles tucked in bed, I headed outside to play in the skid loader. I've never driven one before. Before I was much experienced in driving it, I thought I'd make our garden twice the size by removing the top 6" of grass and soil, hoping for a clean seed bed.

After naps, we jumped in the truck and headed to Echo Valley State Park to enjoy being outdoors as a family together. We don't get to do that enough. Our stroll down the trail wasn't without lots of complaining from 3 little kids. I knew it would be worth it if they would just endure the journey cause I knew what was to come. Oh, how that reminds me of our journey with God... he knows what plans he has for us, we just need to enjoy the journey.

We did a little stream stompin'

Hung out on a log checking out the stream

showed momma their muscles

checked out the fish, or frog, or some other type of eggs on the bank

Dug our fingers into the mud in the bottom of the stream bed

while momma enjoyed watching the kids have fun

and daddy enjoyed the scenery

My least adventurous kiddo splashed in the water

and while we explored a short section of stream, there were some non-photo moments too. A boy learned to water a tree in the timber, a girl decided she wanted to sit her butt in the stream and asked if she could just take her shorts off and take a bath, another boy lost his flip-flop multiple times, and no child wanted to leave. So, a while later when no one wanted to leave such a fun place, we reminded them that ice-cream at DQ would be waiting for us. Oh yes, that's how to BRIBE your kids to do what you want. And this momma didn't just want to walk up the hill listening to more whining so I challenged, not another bribe, Scott to a race. For each checkpoint that he could beat me to, I'd give him money. Oh yeah, we ran the whole way back up the hill to the truck.

After dinner and ice-cream at DQ, we got home just in time for Ryan to capture this.

I love sunsets. One thing I love about them is that it means it's bed time for our little ones. Daddy bathed them and I tucked them in. What a great day!

Great Way to Wake Up

I've been trying to work out more. Not crazy weight lifting like I used to do. More along the lines of just being healthier and stretching, doing crunches, and strengthening my back while trying to eat healthier. [here's where I pretend like I didn't take a teaspoon full of cake frosting for a snack ealier] ahem, anyway. I go to bed late, which makes waking up in the morning not so easy-peasy. But I know that I need to get up earlier so that I can have time to work out, get ready for work, do breakfast dishes, and maybe catch a quick read. So last night when going to bed, it was late again. And my cell phone was on the kitchen counter again which meant I'd wake up to Ryan's alarm - 30 minutes after I wanted to get up.

So, when I had my nightly chat with the Lord who knows the big and little details of my life, I made a simple request. Something along the lines of "Lord, I want to get up in the morning. Help me to be rested and motivated to get up earlier." And when I woke up this morning, just two minutes before Ryan's alarm, I smiled and proceeded to thank God for the little victories! Tonight, my simple request might be that my legs get used to the "easy" workout and not be so sore :)

Ready to Relax

Tonight I got home from work and started on supper. I spent the next 4 hours in the kitchen doing the following:

• Spaghetti with roasted veggies and crescent rolls for supper.
• Enough spaghetti to freeze some for another night when I'm too tired to cook.
• Help Ms. Priss with snacks for her pre-school class. She insisted on pretzels, marshmallows, prunes, and a mint in each one. Okay. I wonder how many kids won't eat the prune. All 3 of my kids love them.
• Clean up supper dishes.
• Make a batch of crab salad so I can have wraps for lunch the rest of the week.
• Clean those dishes.
• Prepare a batch of chili verde for tomorrow's supper.
• Yes, more dishes.
• Help Scott wash his hair.
• Help two kids make their lunch.
• Put away lots of dishes along the way.
• Snuggle a couple of kiddos, wipe one booty, and listen to the story of a star's life in the sky.
• I think I'm tired of being in the kitchen so I'll go start a load of laundry.

When I was done with that, it was 10 pm but I have a few more things to do. Right on to the next thing on my list. I took pics of new necklaces and post them for sale on my Journey4Hope blog. Wrote a quick blog post and now it's time to do some reading and hopefully fall fast asleep the moment I close my eyes.

Family

J and B are snuggled close on the couch coloring together. They're talking non-stop and swapping markers every 5-10 seconds. It's so sweet. While their continent of birth and shade of skin might be different, there is no denying that they are siblings.

On a different note, I met a guy today who asked me how old my kids are. When I said 6, 4, and 4, he got a puzzled look on his face. They're 7 months apart I exclaimed while watching his expression become increasingly more confused. Helping him understand, I said "my youngest is adopted".

Back to watching my little helpers color together... if you haven't read about my give-away, scroll down just a little bit more and check it out.

Give-Away Plus

I have another blog, did you know that? It's where I keep track of the comings and goings of our journey to Ethiopia... and back. Have you checked it out before? If not, click on over to it: www.journey4hope.blogspot.com.

On that blog, I have a tab/page about necklaces. Last night I added over 15 new items to that page. It's not just necklaces. There are baskets and cards too. When I was in Ethiopia, I had the privelege of bringing home some items that the FOVC widows made. So, those are for sale on my blog too. The proceeds of the necklaces go towards my next trip to Ethiopia. I'm tentatively planning to go in June. It will cost approximately $2900 to go and off-setting the cost is so helpful. The sales from the items made by the FOVC widows go directly back to them in Shanto, Ethiopia. There's even a few items made by FOVC's in-house artist. The proceeds of those sells also benefit FOVC directly. So, in case you didn't catch that, not all of the sales benefit me directly. For those that do benefit me, they're also benefiting the crops widows in Ethiopia who I will be training and encouraging.

So, head on over to my blog and check it out. You can enter the give-away or go directly to the necklace page and buy something. Thanks friends.

Give-Away Plus

I have another blog, did you know that? It's where I keep track of the comings and goings of our journey to Ethiopia... and back. Have you checked it out before? If not, click on over to it: www.journey4hope.blogspot.com.

On that blog, I have a tab/page about necklaces. Last night I added over 15 new items to that page. It's not just necklaces. There are baskets and cards too. When I was in Ethiopia, I had the privelege of bringing home some items that the FOVC widows made. So, those are for sale on my blog too. The proceeds of the necklaces go towards my next trip to Ethiopia. I'm tentatively planning to go in June. It will cost approximately $2900 to go and off-setting the cost is so helpful. The sales from the items made by the FOVC widows go directly back to them in Shanto, Ethiopia. There's even a few items made by FOVC's in-house artist. The proceeds of those sells also benefit FOVC directly. So, in case you didn't catch that, not all of the sales benefit me directly. For those that do benefit me, they're also benefiting the crops widows in Ethiopia who I will be training and encouraging.

So, head on over to my blog and check it out. You can enter the give-away or go directly to the necklace page and buy something. Thanks friends.

Fish Fry Fun

The fish fry fun continued from my birthday. Granted, this was a little different. Okay, a lot different.

One of our favorite annual outtings is the Clermont Fire Department Fish Fry Fundraiser. Say that 5 times fast. Anyway, we had plans to eat with my parents and our Donlon friends at the fish fry and then head back to our house to finish off the evening with card games.

Do things ever go as perfectly planned?

Forty-five minutes before meal time, my husband called. He was out getting a load of wood and the tire on the trailer popped off the bead. Not too far from the Donlon's, he decided to nurse the trailer to their house. Somewhere down the road, a tire on the opposite came off the bead. Doh! Now 15 minutes before supper time, Ryan called to give me a heads up - he wasn't going to make dinner and neither was one of our Donlon friends. The two guys were going to take care of the trailer that was now pulled part way off the road onto the tiny shoulder. Forty-five minutes after that, my folks, one of the Donlon's, the kids, and I headed to the fish fry without the guys. The guys had a 3rd muskateer who got suckered into helping, continued to work on the trailer tire issue. If I heard all of the story correctly, the first set of tires didn't fit. Then they headed to a different farm 20 minutes away where the Donlon knew there was a trailer sitting down in the timber with tires off of it. Maybe this one would work. I'm sure they were tired, cold, and desperate at this point.

Meanwhile I was irritated that my evening plans weren't working out and not feeling super sorry for my husband. Forgive me God, I am a sinner.

The second set of trailer tires worked. They got the tires changed on the side of the road and Ryan took the truck and trailer to the Donlon's. We met up with them there. Instead of seeing my hubby freshly showered and ready for an evening of hanging out, the guys were cold, tired, hungry, and exhausted. It was 745pm, over 2 hours after we were supposed to meet up for a favorite annual event. We brewed the guys some hot chocolate and fed them take-out fried fish. Thank you D and T for all of your help!

It wasn't the night we had planned. My kids weren't home to be put to bed at a decent time so they got to watch movies while the adults played cards. It was fun. Papa, who says he can't play cards, spanked us. Though usually up for a challenge in games, did horribly. Next year, I hope things go a little better cause you bet we'll be ready for the fish fry!

He was Scheming

Today was a normal holiday where I'm thankful to be home with the kids. I went through some old clothes of Bethany's to give to a friend, then planned meals & wrote a grocery list and headed North. On my way, I called my mother in law and asked her if she would meet me and the kids for lunch and hang out with them while I shopped by myself in the grocery store. It worked out perfectly... the kids got to see their grandma two days in a row, I shopped in peace and kept my sanity and we all went home happy.

This afte

rnoon my friend Sarah was coming over. I knew that she didn't expect my house in perfect order so I put away my groceries and then sat down to visit with her while the toothpaste was left piled on the stairs, the box of dye was in the bathroom floor, and yesterday's birthday cake was still sitting on the dining room table. Shortly after Sarah and I began beading, Ryan came home. A little while after that, our friends Nick and Meg stopped by.

I love when Nick and Meg randomly stopped by.

With alcohol-free mojitos in hand we poured a few glasses, the ladies continued our beading discussion while the guys were getting all set up to fry some fish. The place I was sitting in the nook had a great view of the end of our driveway. As I looked up, I saw another car pull in. Hmm... that's odd. And since it is my birthday, I jokingly asked Ryan: "honey, are we having a party tonight that you didn't tell me about???" Without pause, he said yes and continued with fish frying duties. Well, then.

One by one cars rounded the driveway, and friends made their way into my house. The panic of having friends in my not perfectly cleaned house at a not perfectly organized party began to settle. It was fu

n. Low key, loud, kids running around, too much food, and perfect. How sweet is my husband??? You don't have to answer, I already knew he was pretty special.

There were no formal pictures, no formal cake, a hodge-podge of food and a whole lot of fellowship. I loved it. And I'm so thankful that my friends will come into my house, help my husband prepare food, all while not caring one bit if I had things laying around the house, hadn't washed my hair today, and wasn't perfectly prepared for a party. So, thank you to my family and friends for loving me on this day that I celebrate and thank God for creating me.

And now when the house is quiet and Ryan begins putting kids to bed so I can read the many

birthday wishes on facebook, he found this sweet little boy crashed out on the living room floor. I guess in the craziness of our evening, I didn't get a chance to tell Ryan that the kids had no nap and needed to hit the sack early tonight... oops, there's always tomorrow.

My birthday Wish

It's my birthday TODAY. I have one wish for my birthday today. For people to partner with us int he crops for widows program. I figured if everyone that wished me Happy Birthday on facebook would donate$5 each, we could really make a difference in the lives of women who are still getting hit HARD by drought. But it doesn't just have to be my facebook friends.

You can make a difference too!!!!!

Will you consider a $5 donation today for the crops programs? The fundraiser is already set up. You can give via paypal or credit card. It's super simple. It would be the best gift. Click here to give:

http://www.acharityproject.com/f/FOVCcrops

It Is Possible

I was supposed to go to central Iowa for the weekend but did a poor job of planning and communicating. Now, that I'm home for a three-day weekend, I have a CRAZY to do list:

1. Clean and organize pantry
2. Clean and organize basement to create a kids game room - this could take 2 days.
3. Play with my Kids
4. Meal plan and get groceries
5. Rest.
6. Go for a run.
7. Dig out baby clothes to give away.
8. Clean the kitchen.
9. Advertise hardly used nescafe coffee thing for sale.
10. Design kitchen mini-remodel.
11. Laundry.
12. Clean bathroom.

Clearly, this list is crazy but a girl has to dream, right? With teh current state of my back, I may not get very far on this list... we shall see.

Memories of Scott

Memories of Scott... where do I start???

As years pass and my mind gets clobbered with lots of other things, some memories fade... things like where did I take my watch off? Other things I can recall from pictures, like how ugly my haircut was in 6th grade. There are things which were never caught on film and aren't a part of my everyday life. It brings me to tears to think that some memories may fade, things like my precious friend, Scott. I hold tightly to those memories of a friend who impacted my life.

For Tony and Bonnie I've shared most of these stories. To write them down and share them again leaves me thinking “don’t you have any other stories to share?”. This is the heart wrenching part of losing a friend so young. Having only known each other a few short years, my memories of Scott are both extensive and limited. Extensive in that I can remember the details and limited in that there's not enough stories. And telling the same story again is admitting that my memories are limited and is the hard part for me.

While memories flood my mind, I continue to wonder where to start. As I wander down memory lane, the whole gamut of emotions overwhelm me once again.

Frustration

The most prominent memory of frustration is when I asked Scott for a ride home and he said no. I proceeded to walk home while he drove along side of me down Sierra Street in front of the park. I’m not sure how the story ended but I was clearly stubborn right along with my friend. Other frustrating moments occurred during the summer on the river when we’d fight over who could ride the jet ski next. While he may have learned manners from his parents and may have learned how to treat a girl, I was clearly treated like a sister many times.

Love

While Scott and I often had sibling rivalry, it wasn’t always that way. I’ve giggled about this memory lots of times. But moreso after this fall when I was home visiting and Bonnie introduced me to a visiting friend as one of Scott’s old girlfriends. Hee, hee. You’re absolutely right Bonnie, I was an old girlfriend. And I have no idea how long the junior-high “love” lasted but there are a hand full of memories from that time. One was when Amy drove us to the Selma Baskin Robins after youth group. I remember Scott stopping at the house and asked my parents if he could take me to ice-cream. It may have been junior-high but he was respectful and used his manners. On our way to Baskin Robins, he sat in the back of the car with me and we might have even held hands. During that time, Scott went to summer camp. I can’t remember the exact details, but like young kids, he took something of mine to camp and left me with something of his. While at camp, he called me almost daily during his free time to say hello. Sixteen years ago people didn’t have cell phones attached to their bodies so making those phone calls took some time, effort, and cash.

Laughter & Disgust

One of those phone calls from Scott was full of laughs and disgust. The boys were being boys. What I recall was them being made to pull lake weed by some camp dude named Dayn Mansfield who was soon to be our Youth Pastor. Other moments of laughter including when Scott “forked” and “riced” the Workman’s lawn and other minor mischief-filled moments.

Grateful

There was a serious side to Scott when it really mattered. This is what impacted me the most. Every time I get to share about Scott, this is the story I share. Over several months, Scott invested his time and shared the Gospel Truth with me. I remember him riding his bike over and sitting on the sidewalk and front porch sharing about the character of our Creator with me. I remember taking through the cyclone fence at the town pool about questions I had. I don’t remember the details of each conversation, but the end result was me making the most important decision and giving my life to Christ. I thank God every time I think of Scott.

Loss

The loss came in stages as I processed things. Shock, denial, more shock, and more denial. And here’s where it gets really difficult to put thoughts on paper.

Hope

Amidst the heartache were moments of healing. I remember Tony and Bonnie coming in and talking to the youth group opening their home even as they dealt with their own grief. Still not really knowing Tony and Bonnie, I went over there anyway. With no expectations except needing tissue, I was blown away by my time there. Find a special note in Scott’s “private” drawer was fun and made me wonder if he’d read it lately. With some smart comment from Tony, he gave me back the letter that day. While it said nothing lovey-dovey or incriminating, it was neat to have. Who knew that the smell of Scott on his pillow would be so emotional that day. And again tonight, sixteen years later.

While Scott was no longer physically with us, the memories continued to build. A little bit of letter writing with Amy, the barn taking Scott’s name, spreading Scott’s ashes and puking on the side of the trail while some old man passed me on the hill. I even dreamed about Scott. But my memories are far more than dreams. They are a reality of a boy who’s life and death impacted people like me.

Sixteen years later as I reflect back memories of my friend, I’m thankful that our lives crossed paths. I’m thankful that Scott had a family that loved him and taught him to love others. Yes, Scott impacted my life and yes, I named my oldest son after him because of it. But, Scott couldn’t have impacted my life without first knowing God. Scott wouldn’t know God without a family who taught him. Thank you Redfern family for loving me by loving your son! I love each of you!

Happy 4th Birthday

One of my 3 kids shares my birthday month. Today is his birthday. He's 4.

When we arrived to Sunday School today, a certain proud big sister announced her brother's birthday. All the kids sang to him. Later when we got upstairs for church, they announced his birthday there too. This time when everyone sang to him, he became emotionless and limp. Wouldn't stand up or anything which is not my usual son. Either he was overwhelmed or mad... they get the same response.

Yesterday, we had a small family gathering to celebrate Judah's birthday. He had a super Judah cake designed my his 6 year old brother, Scott. With a nasty head cold, this momma didn't have a chance to make a super fun cake but I thought it was pretty sweet that Scott wanted to decorate it. Judah didn't seem to mind, as you can see by the picture below of him blowing out his candle:

We did our afternoon a little different than my "normal". Gifts first, then supper, then cake and ice-cream. What I really enjoyed about the night was when we went around the table and all shared the things we loved about Judah. There was plenty of love for a little boy who had a big smile on his face.

Happy Birthday son!