28 October 2005
You probably are not sensible of this; you find you are kept out of hell, but don't see the hand of God in it, but look at other things, as the good state of your bodily constitution, your care of your own life, and the means you use for your own preservation. But indeed these things are nothing; if God should withdraw his hand, they would avail no more to keep you from falling, than the thin air to hold up a person that is suspended in it.
Your wickedness makes you as it were heavy as lead, and to tend downwards with great weight and pressure towards hell; and, if God should let you go, you would immediately sink, and swiftly descend and plunge into the bottomless gulf; and your healthy constitution, and your own care and prudence, and best contrivance, and all your righteousness, would have no more influence to uphold you and keep you out of hell, than a spider's web would have to stop a falling rock. . . .
The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked. His wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else but to be cast into the fire. He is of purer eyes than to bear you in his sight; you are ten thousand times as abominable in his eyes as the most hateful, venomous serpent is in ours. You have offended him infinitely more than ever a stubborn rebel did his prince, and yet 'tis nothing but his hand that holds you from falling into the fire every moment. . . .
O sinner! Consider the fearful danger you are in! 'Tis a great furnace of wrath, a wide and bottomless pit, full of fire and of wrath that you are held over in the hand of that God whose wrath is provoked and incensed as much against you as against many of the damned in hell. You hang by a slender thread, with the flames of Divine wrath flashing about it, and ready every moment to singe it and burn it asunder. . . .
It would be dreadful to suffer this fierceness and wrath of Almighty God one moment; but you must suffer it to all eternity. There will be no end to this exquisite, horrible, misery. . . .
How dreadful is the state of those that are daily and hourly in danger of this great wrath and infinite misery! But this is the dismal case of every soul in this congregation that has not been born again, however moral and strict, sober and religious, they may otherwise be. Oh! that you would consider it, whether you be young or old!
From Johnathan Edwards, "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God (1741)," in The Great Awakening, eds. Alan Heimert and Perry Miller (Indianpolis: Bobbs-Merrill, 1969).
Every night is a puke story of course. Last night we were at teh UNI Dome watching our high school play their last football game. At 9pm, I fed Scott and tried to burp him (he doesn't always burp). We got a few burps out and then I took him over to his dad. Ryan wasn't holding him too long when Scott spit up and it went all the way down Ryan's shirt, splattered on his boot and then puddled on the floor. The kid is a spitter! Poor Ryan had to sit the rest of the game, plus the drive home with lovely breast milk down his shirt. I'm sure it dried before we got home.
we all have colds around our house. It's so sad to hear my little Scott-R coughing and sneezing. He's in good hands with his grammy today. She was planning on keeping him tonight and tomorrow night so Ryan and I could do some Christmas shopping. We'll see how that goes with the cold issues.
26 October 2005
In the Holy Land A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and spend only $150.00?"The man replied, "A man died here 2000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
It started out so good – I took a shower and had some time to myself. On my way to work, I realized I forgot to send milk for Scott. Even though I was over my minutes and it was costing me 40 cents a minute to talk, I decided to give mom a quick call. She of course said not to worry that she had to run some errands so she would just stop at our house and pick some up. I was mortified! My house was a pig sty. I’m serious. I had carried in all my outside plants and they were all over the place – living room floor, staircase, dinning table, counters. The lovely asian beetles that snuck in on the plants were now laying dead on the ground surrounding all the plants. Scott’s dirty, spit-up on clothes and bibs were still in the floor along with Ryan’s chocolate mug, my water bottle and other crap. I had done the dishes but not ALL of them b/c my strainer got full and I was too lazy to dry them (no auto dishwasher at my house). Needless to say I didn’t want mom in my house so I warned her to close her eyes when she went in so she didn’t see the mess. She started in about it like any mother would, and I interrupted with “I’m over on my minutes, I gotta go!” She continued so I said it again, said bye and hung up. Ouch! I don’t talk to my mom like that, nor does she deserve that. Several hours later, I called her to apologize and asked her to come down for lunch. So I skipped my morning pumping and waited till noon and nursed Scott during lunch. Then when I went for my 2pm pumping, I realized I didn’t have the pump portion that I so desperately needed. As I got the stuff out to pump, I was so frustrated, my eyes were about to water and I thought to myself “I could go downstairs and cry the whole time I pump, it would be good to just get it out”. Then I didn’t have my pump = added frustration. A quick call to my buddy Jen, who also has a medela pump, to ask if I could borrow the pump portion. Drove to her house which took twice as long because of road construction (more frustration) and then her pump was a different model and wouldn’t work. I shared some of my frustrations with her and headed back to the office. By now, I have almost 6 hours worth of milk in my nini’s (since I didn’t do my morning pump) and needed to pump. I walked in the office, finished up something and left at 3:30.
I got home yesterday without crying. Ryan came home and I had laundry going, a fire started and dinner on the stove. He of course was shocked. I warned him up front that I was frustrated with just about everybody and everything. He asked what he did wrong and I said you're not on my list at the moment. I got supper cooked, the kitchen cleaned, my kid was taking a nap and things were going well. I told ryan that we needed to work on our communication and he thought that was going great. Ha! We aren’t and so we discussed that briefly. Then I was cleaning living room #2 and picked up a gallon jug of insecticide off mom & ralph's italian leather couches that are at our house. I assumed the bottle was empty since it was so carelessly lying on the couch. It wasn’t and it had leaked all over the one cushion and down the side. I was so ticked and immediately started in on Ryan for being so careless. I started cleaning up the mess while he said he'd do it. But ryan is never in a hurry and I wanted it taken care of right then. I was scared that it wouldn't come out and my parents would have ruined couches. He wasn't concerned because the stuff is water soluble. I scrubbed and scrubbed, took the cushions out and scrubbed some more. I hope the leather is okay. Grr, I was so ticked. But the rest of the evening went okay. Scott was fussy which makes ryan fussy. He does fine when scott is happy but he can't calm scott down quite like me and gets irritated with the crying. Things went a little better last night, I got a good night of sleep and my throat isn't bothering me as bad this morning. I could so use a vacation – at least 10 hours a week :)
This morning, already
It started out great. I fed scott in bed and then got to snuggle with my honey for a while. scott pee'd through his diaper and ryan was bathing him so I decided to make breakfast (usually ryan makes me breakfast every morning). We didn't have milk to make the eggs fluffy but I managed. Served my honey breakfast, fixed his hot chocolate, did the dishes from supper last night and breakfast, stuffed my face, grabbed my wedding band, fed the dogs and jumped in the car. It was going great, I didn't have anything on my face but I was on time. Yipee!
Then I get to work and I'm not there more than an hour when things get irritating again. Why is it that a person thinks she needs to share all the details of local gossip with me. Let me just preface all this by saying that the 5 minute talk I hear every morning is talking about gossip this week. As soon as it was over, the dj started talking about an accident and the road conditions. someone called in and she asked if anyone was hurt, like she wanted the dirt. I was so tempted to call her (and I would have if I weren't over on my minutes) to ask if she listened to the talk on gossip. So, anyway, this person proceeds to tell me the local gossip and each time I stop her and say I don't want to hear it. I'm not kidding you, she keeps on and tells me 3 different stories. One of which was totally the wrong info that she was sharing with people. So, I even confronted her about it and said "that's why we shouldn't gossip". She continued. Holy cow, did she not get the hints? I don't want to hear it! I shared with her about the gossip talk I've heard this week and how I don't want to hear those things about people. It just ticks me off, she's so sneaky and quiet about it, duh, because she shouldn't be opening her mouth! Ah, gotta love everyone though, Jesus said to do so.
One more random thought:
Ryan and I watched napolean dynamite on Sunday. it was the biggest waste of my time ever. it was a stupid-and-not-even-that-funny movie. i should have listened to michelle, i do want my two hours back! But today I'm wearing my shirt that says "vote for pedro" only the pedro is crossed off and it says "Jesus" instead. If anyone questions it today, I'm gonna entertain myself and say "are you racist against mexicans, it's jesus" as in "hey-suess" the mexican name. Okay, gotta get to working, its almost 8 am
20 October 2005
I love this next picture too. A few things I like about it is that it's such a perfect view of Scott. Hands are always moving. He's always staring at something and loves the outdoors. The blanket he's laying on was Ryan's when Ryan was a kid. And the wagon in the background was also Ryan's when he was a kid.
This was the whole reason behind the picture taking adventure. I wanted to take pictures of Scott in a pumpkin. My idea was a little different but this is how it turned out. The opposite side of the pumpkin was carved - supposed to be a vet symbol that didn't work out. So, the pumpkin was already cleaned out. Ryan cut the hole at the top bigger and then cut out part of the back side to get him in. I had to use another pumpkin to prop him up. I have some cute pictures of him when he fell in the leaves before we got pumpkin #2 to help. I felt like we were squishing him.
That's it for pictures. I can't load any more pictures again :) Mom told me yesterday that Scott laughed out loud when she was tickling him. Another milestone for my small fry. Ryan and I are having fun with him, and needing a little time to ourselves. Someday :)
19 October 2005
Since Scott turned 3 months on Friday. I thought this would be a perfect time to take some fall pictures. I really wanted to put him inside a pumpkin and take a few pics so we did just that. We went down to Dutton's Cave (a county park) just a few miles from our house and had fun with the cameras. Ryan had the digital and I had the regular one. Used up 3 rolls of film while we were there. The following are a few of the digital shots Ryan captured:
Scott holding on for dear life before we get in the van to leave. He's always gripping something. (as I was loading the next picture, I noticed Scott's middle finger showing off once again)
14 October 2005
My kid turned 3 months old today. Happy 3 month birthday son! Scott's grammy is great at taking pictures and sharing them. These were all taken within the last week or so.
This second picture is the famous "Martinez lip". Everyone in the family has this massive bottom lip when they pout. Scott's is absolutely adorable.
My little Scott-R loves playing with his Grammy and Papa.
13 October 2005
Sorry this is a small picture but it will have to work. Here's drew and her proud daddy, Andy.
I had another cute one of Kristine, Andy and Drew but it's too small.
[tebbe, i need better pitures to share with everyone!]
11 October 2005
Continuing the crappy kid story...
It was after church on Sunday and our buddy Richie was holding Scott:
Richie: Tammy, Scott just let loose, he needs his diaper changed.
me: you can take care of it Uncle Richie
(All too often our little tooter makes people think he has a dirty diaper when he's only been passing gas. I no longer take serious when someone suggests he's dirty. And his toots stink so they really get confused)
several minutes later, R: scott's diaper is leaking through
me: are you serious, he really crapped his diaper?
R: yeah, that's why I wrapped his blanket around him. it leaked out his diaper, through his clothes.
(by now Ryan is standing there chatting with Richie)
me: Ryan, will you change your kid's diaper (with complete attitude)
My kid had done it again. It has become a normal experience in our house. before i always tried to make sure we had an extra onesie, just in case. now, we take an extra set of clothes b/c we're almost guaranteed to need them.
In other news:
i'm glad its not monday! a nice long weekend thanks to good 'ol Columbus. had a nice weekend even though my honey was gone. went to mom's from work to chow some shrimp alredo pasta before heading to the game. i put scott in his little snugli so we could keep each other warm. he wasn't even interested in eating, just wanted to snooze against his mommy. the game lasted forever (they took away the 50 point rule which meant we got to go home early alot b/c it would be 50-0 and the game would be over). We won 63-o, poor other school. it was homecoming night and the poor girls were freezing. dumb girls, wouldn't wear a coat. that's okay, vanity is an issue of mine too :)
piddled around saturday. made the trip to wally world and spent too much money as usual. bought ryan a christmas present though so that was good. it really got me thinking about our christmas this year. we love to buy gifts for family. but with all our other financial commitments at the moment (sewer, vet practice purchase), i'm not sure if that would be a wise decision. i'm tempted to chat with ryan about it and setting a budget that would be a fraction of what we usually spend. who knows. anyway, went to Gunder for supper with the folks. on the 8 mile drive home, we saw at least 40 deer. its harvest time here so the deer are just thick and it will only get worse and harvest progresses and there are less corn fields for deer to bed down in. ryan came home at 215 am and we chatted for an hour before he conked out. it was so good to hear the excitement in his voice about his weekend trip with our JV kids.
church was awesome on sunday. shane (one of our buddies) gave the message. it was on prayer and our lack of prayer. so kicked my butt. i just don't spend enough time in that area of my life. excuses are like... nevermind that comment; i need to spend more time in prayer because i love seeing how God answers those prayers. went to lunch afterwards with the Ellis', Shane & Michelle and Kelly. I love chinese food! came home and ryan crashed for a few hours. taylor came home with me and watched scott while i cleaned the kitchen. she's so awesome to volunteer like that. went to small group later and taylor kept scott the whole time so I could focus on the study we did. it was so nice to not be distracted.
monday was awesome. just quiet, got a few things accomplished and wasn't rushed. that was the nice part, not feeling rushed or bogged down. had the county sanitarian out as well as the contractor. got some ideas on the septic system we will be replacing next spring. we're looking at $4k or something along those lines. ryan was able to come home for that which was helpful. while talking to those folks, the culligan guy (dean) came. he's a great guy and i love when i'm home to greet him. just adds to my day because he always has a smile on his face and a positive attitude. he had to check out scott and came back out to tell me scott was inside crying. i felt like such a bad mom again but then dean said he was just kidding, scott was still asleep. went to the vet clinic to have lunch with my honey. hot dogs. i hate hot dogs but these things were actually good, i even ate two of them. went from there to stop by mom&papa's. she goes through withdrawls when she doesn't get to see scott. left scott there to play and went home to start supper. made this awesome wild rice soup with chicken. and only had one minor drama - went outside to pick my bell peppers and all four of them had been eaten on. made me so mad that I saw that huge tomato horn worm the day before on the gord plant and left him there. grr. started dessert, i had made my graham cracker crust before we ate. went to finish the dessert and my fresh raspberries were no longer fresh enough. so irritating. i try so hard in the kitchen sometimes and it just doesn't come naturally or work out.
its now tuesday and i'm glad to be back at work, where i'm comfortable, and taking my lunch. better get back to work. it won't be long and i'll need to pump again - woo hoo!
p.s. watched the angels game last night. it was a sweet victory. but i'm bummed that my buddy jake wasn't on the roster. last night would have been a perfect night for him to pitch, they needed a lefty.
07 October 2005
I have the crappiest kid, not in a bad way either. Just lately we have quite the drama with his bowel movements. Let me start from the beginning. He was regular, a poopy diaper almost every time you changed him. Then all of a sudden it had been several days. I got worried when 3 days had past and then expressed my concern at 4 days. Finally on day 5, my little Scott-r let loose. Then for a few weeks he only pooped every 5 days. It was actually quite nice to not change poopy diapers but he had the most atrocious smelling gas. I'm serious, it was as loud and as stinky as an adult's! Then while we were in CA, his bowel schedule changed again and for a month now has gone at least once a day. And that's been great because he's been at his grammy's house for those experiences. But the last 5 days we've changed again. He's gone at home and they've been major. I mean like shooting out the sides - major. Not to share too many details but the diaper was filled up to the top of the ridges that come up against their thighs and had it coated on his bottom. This was a major event. Well, then Tuesday night he was just letting them rip. I was sitting under the window air conditioner (its a loud old sucker) and we had the tv sound blasting so I could hear it over the AC when Scott was letting loose. I could hear some of it over the other background noise! I'm serious. Ryan was holding him and just sat in amazement. I think he tooted for 30 seconds straight. So Ryan picks him up to make sure it wasn't coming out the side. It appeared safe and he sat him back on his lap. Within seconds it was down Ryan's pants, dripped in about 5 spots on the hassick and had little puddles on the wood floor. A little runny to say the least. We couldn't lay him on anything since it seemed to be gushing out so Ryan laid him on the floor of the shower. I cleaned the majority of it off Scott while Ryan cleaned the dishes out of the sink. We then held him over the sink and rinsed him off since there was so much poop. And it didn't end there. We had the same thing again Wednesday night and last night too. Last night mom had him dressed in this cute little outfit for bible study. He was in his bouncy chair while I did dishes. And over the noise of the running water, I heard him. Curious if it was just gas (since he's a pro as farting), I went to check just in case. Yup, another runny blow out. I yelled at Ryan who was just getting in the shower. He hurried down stairs to hold while I rinsed once again.
Ah, the joys of parenting. I wish I had gotten pictures!
I could so put myself in Cori's shoes today. Just wanting to eat healthy, exercise and be intimate with my husband. But I have all kinds of excuses for not getting those things accomplished. I try to eat healthy but its hard to do when you don't have the best food supply without driving 45 minutes. I want to get out and run or walk again but I'm not motivated enough to do that on my own and my walking buddy has been busy. And the whole initmacy thing is a totally different ball game with a 12 week old and a busy schedule. Now its Friday and Ryan is gone up to Minneapolis for the weekend so I won't get to see him again until Sunday sometime.
05 October 2005
My most recent pet, Keller. Ryan saved him from euthinization at the vet clinic. He's a mini Australian Shepherd and the biggest genetic jack-up. He was mostly blind and completely deaf when we got him. Now, almost 4 months later, he sees too well (he waits at the front door to come in) and is still 100% deaf. Gotta love him though, he's so cute. I need a current picture since he's grown a bit.
L to R: William Edward Goat, Promise, Kaleb (my nephew) and me. William was one of our first ventures as a married couple. He chews the hotwire fence in the pasture and the tulips and every other plant when he gets out so he stays tied up. Promise came shortly after we were married too. Ryan hates horses but knows I love them so he bought her for me. After being bucked off several times and an overnight stay in the hospital (thanks to Sandy and Jesse for saving my life), Promise found a new home.
I'm sure this dog would be a lap dog if you let him. This is DJ, Ryan's dalmation. He's been around for 7 or 8 years and is the best behaved dog and is gorgeous. He hasn't adjusted the best to Scott but he's still an awesome dog.
* I have (actually they're Ryan's) two cats also. Rum Tum Tugger is the boy and he's a tabby. His sister is Wicket and she's a calico. They were farm cats that Ryan brought home shortly after moving up here when he graduated vet school.
03 October 2005
Wow, its monday already. seems like it was yesterday that we took scott to get his shots. thursday was scott's big day, the day he might decide to no longer like nurse Sue. our appointment was at 6pm, we got there a little early. it was hell night for them. dr. lederman (the on-call doc) got called to the nearby clinic because Whooping Cough was identified there (3rd school in the area within 2 weeks). so, dr. miller (my doc) got called to deliver a baby in lederman's place. that left dr. tinker (my neighbor down the road) all by himself. scott got his shots from the nurses but not his well-baby check. tinker had blood taken to check my cough issue and took a quick look at me. he said my allergies were causing my sinuses to drain which was causing my throat to be irritated causing the cough. no cold. i knew the allergies and sinus part and was glad that i didn't have a cold, bronchitis or anything else. he gave me zyrtec and sent us home. two hours after we got there, we left. two stinkin' hours - that's too long.
thursday night i got to experience the side affects of the zyrtec, or was it that my tummy didn't like all the sinus yuck that had drained in there. anyway, my TMI (not as exciting as Cori's) was that i was up for a few hours with an upset tummy, the nastiest diarrhea i've ever had and lots of coughing. i tried to sleep in the spare bedroom but the coughing kept me awake for too long. friday i stayed home to get some rest. that morning mom and ralph came out to hang out with scott so i could sleep. i got a two hour nap in - it was glorious. friday afternoon i made a quick run to decorah for walmart and jc penny's. scott needed some cool weather clothes in his current size and i needed a few items from wally world. was supposed to be at jen and ryan's at 630 with my ryan. got home at 630 and still had to feed scott. just as i was walking out the door, ryan walked in. i thought he'd already gone to j&r's but he was still running vet calls. he left his truck running and jumped in the shower. we got to j&r's at 715. the boys were headed to the game for a 715 kick-off and ryan still had to eat. it didn't go quite as planned. but the boys eventually headed off to the game and us girls sat on the couch, fed our babies, chatted and watched 3 wishes. it was a breastfeeding and crying group night :)
saturday was another slow day. i scrap booked, killed a few pesky flies and did laundry - no cleaning this weekend. sunday was church, potluck and a true day of rest. i scrap booked a little more while ryan and ben played x-box. then took my kid upstairs, fed him and played on the bed a while before taking a kinda-sorta nap. it was a nice relaxing weekend. i have lots of cleaning to do and still haven't gotten anywhere on my septic tank drama.
oh yeah, and i hit a skunk on the driveway thursday night. killed one of our pets. my car smelled but by the next day a vulture had carried off the dead skunk from the driveway. AND, friday coming home from decorah, mom saw my cat half way down the driveway again. i thought it was a skunk, she thought it was the cat (similar colors). i slowed down and opened my door to call wicket when i got a wiff of skunk smell. it was so the skunk and not my cat!