26 October 2010

Zone Defense

When going from two to three kids, you go from man-on-man to zone defense.

It's true.

Last night I was talking to various people at a church social activity. The conversations were intersting. One woman in her 70's was stunned that I was still working and told me that I should consider quality over quantity in regards to considering adopting again. I gently told her that I was considering life versus starvation but that I do realize quality time is important. This wasn't the "zone defense" conversation but it was a conversation I won't soon forget - remember my last post about sitting in the midst of a church body who doesn't get it?

Back to the zone defense topic. Yes, I know, I'm easily distracted.

A few friends who's kids are college age asked me how about feeling overwhelmed going from two to three kids. This is when I gave the little move to zone defense chat. Judah is easy for the most part. Scott and Bethany are mostly well behaved. They're not perfect, we all know that. They don't behave perfectly and for those who think they do, those people need to spend more time with us! The hardest part about going from two to three is not having enough hands when in a parking lot. Thankfully Wallyworld makes carts that hold three kids - that is my saving grace (and I'm still a little nutty by time I leave) when I grocery shop!

This morning got me thinking a little more about this idea of zone defense and how we train and discipline our kids.

Ryan came in this morning and shared with me that he knew why "such-and-such" friends never have us keep their kids. So of course I asked why. Their reason was that we discipline differently than they do. They were concerned that we'd discipline their kids the same way. Really? That's a valid concern but sad that it took this long to be communicated. We've kept multiple other kids at our house. Some well behaved and some not. We run a certain kind of zone defense for our young team. Training and discipline look a little different for each of our three kids. We wouldn't and haven't disciplined other people's children. When little A was at our house and bit my daughter, I pulled her aside, talked to her about her action and set her in timeout for a minute. That is not exactly how I would have disciplined Bethany if she'd been the biter. So, I'm hoping that this conversation will be just that - a conversation and no longer a big pink elephant in the room.

I'll run my team in a manner that teaches and trains them to be thoroughly equipped for the future. That may mean they are disciplined differently. That may mean we don't let them attend children's church so they can learn to listen to the Pastor. That's my team. I don't expect others to run their team the same way.

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