07 February 2008

February 5th

It will forever be ingrained in my mind. The start of February comes and it hits me like a box of rocks. I miss my friend. It has been 12 years. The pain has subsided but the memories live on. I often wonder what life would be like if he was still around. Would Scott and I have stayed friends? Would my decision to commit my life to Christ have played out like it has? What a wonderful guy who lived a short life.

Like it was yesterday, I remember the details: the phone call about his accident. No brain activity, hearing that he died. The drive to the funeral, bawling like a baby when I saw his things on the stage. Visiting his parents afterwards, smelling his pillow, snooping through his desk with his dad. Wow. I miss my friend.


Meritt said...

Although I don't know your friend and I don't know the story, I can tell you could use a smile and a hug.

Cyber versions given. :)

Fantastagirl said...


Bonnie said...

We miss him too! Twelve years does not shrink the hole his death left in our family, our hearts and our lives. In fact, the more life goes on, the more it seems he SHOULD be here - to be the Uncle Scott he would have loved to be to K,K&J.
Thanks for remembering Scott. We are thankful that "in life and in death" he remains "a tool for Christ."
Love, T & B (proud to be, Scott's mom and dad)

CORI said...

I remember many, MANY late night convos with you where you reflected on Scott, his death, and the might have beens. I know how much you miss him and I want to give you a big hug right now. *BIG sigh*

Amy said...

Thank you Tammy for loving my brother and my family. It is refreshing to have someone value him, even though he is gone, and miss him just as much as we do. Twelve years seems like it would be enough time to "process" grief, I actually hope I never stop journeying through my grief. It has changed me forever and I never want to forget how it feels to lose Scott. If I start forgetting, then I start forgetting who he was and how much he meant to me. Thank you for journeying with us, you bless us!

Ashley said...

good blog - thanks for remembering him too!