19 February 2008


I was a little misleading last week - my birthday is tomorrow. And I don't say that now to get any birthday wishes or anything like that but rather to preface a my thoughts this morning. I got an email from a dear friend wishing me a happy birthday week. The following is our email conversation:
from me:
thanks Kel! Ryan and I are supposed to be going out for my birthday. Only, I'm not so excited about it for several reasons:
1. I don't feel cute today as I didn't get make up on my stressed out face.
2. I have an optometrist appt at 5pm and we have to stop at Fare.way and Wallyworld while we're out.
3. Ryan happened to share a conversation that he had with me in which he said "that doesn't work for me. My wife TOLD ME that I would be taking her to supper". Yep, that pretty much ruined it.
4. He's commented about being or not being able to get a free meal at chinese for my birthday. It's not about the freaking free meal. its about celebrating with your wife.

My crappy attitude will improve throughout the day. But, I'm lacking sleep, the roads were crap and I put too much chocolate in my hot chocolate... could be a long day :)

from kelly:
Ouch! That stings a bit and while I’m sure it was stressing it to get the joke out, it still doesn’t feel that great. I just got done reading a book called “For Women Only” about guys and how they really feel- I think all the girl’s in our small group should read it- but what really interests me is the companion book called “For Guys Only” that is supposed to explain us better to the guys in our life. I want to read it first and see if I think it’s accurate. Not all girl’s are the same, and I’m wondering if it really pegs us well.

The bright side- dinner out with your hubby- NO kids, right?

and my reply:
yeah, I'm sure he meant no harm but like he tells me, its not always what you say but how you say it. However, now that I think about it, it was both in this case.

I have that book too. I've read maybe 30 pages of it. Ryan has read both and thinks its spot on for what guys think. However, I've told him not to read to exact on the one about women, rather let me write one specifically about me. And then, I'd probably have to write 3, one for different moods, feeling sick, etc :) They also have one for young men and one for young women that are good. Right now I'm reading a book called Love & Respect, Love what she needs most, Respect what he needs most. Its been good but difficult to swallow. It talks about respecting him regardless of him deserving it. I'm trying but have a LONG way to go.

Night out with one kid. The B's are taking Scott to some Arthur (the cartoon) thing. We'll have Bethany. We thought about the new place but they're closed on Tuesday. And to be honest, unless hubby gets dressed up or there's something different about the night, then its just like every other time we stop and eat in Decorah. know what I mean?

All that to say that I'm being a whiner like my son. I want a special time to celebrate me. And I know that tonight will be rushed. Sure, I could request that we get all dressed up but that would require me leaving work even earlier to go home and put some make up on. Still not a bad idea but I did the ride-share thing this morning (betcha didn't know that was even possible in rural Iowa) and can't really leave any earlier. My boss is much more flexible with my time off requests. And even then, we would just be rushed to get to all the places we need to be before Scott's done and we need to get the kids home and in bed. They've each had colds lately and are whiny, fussy little ones.


Amy said...

Tammy, can you just throw tonight out the window and try for another night later on? Sometimes I get frustrated trying to make it all work out just like I want it, and then when it doesn't it's even more frustrating.

Even if you had to wait until next weekend, that would give you enough time to find a sitter for both kids and find the restaurant you really want to eat at.

Either way I hope you make peace with the plan you choose. Have a blessed day my friend and Happy Birthday!

me said...

I think you need to request a Friday night celebration, complete with babysitter. Something my mom told me long ago is that most guys just don't get birthdays. To them, it's no big deal. To us, it is. We just want to feel appreciated and loved. ((Hugs)) You are not alone!

Fantastagirl said...

Unfortunately I get it. I wish there was a way for husbands to get it - mine always says - 'you never said what you wanted', and then when I do say what I want, it gets twisted, and no one is happy.

Have a good day!

CORI said...

Happy Birthday.

I think you are kind, selfless, moral, and outgoing. We have been friends for 10 years and I hope we have many more years of friendship together. I adore you, Mrs Skinny Bitch!

Kristin said...


jerelyn said...

Happy Birthday two days late!

Ashley said...

happy birthday little sis!