Celebrate

I don't have the energy to write what's on my heart. To keep it simple, yesterday I celebrated a birthday of a little boy who's not yet in my home. And today along with my dear friends Bonnie and Tony, we remember the devastating loss of my friend Scott (their little boy) 14 years ago.

The emotions are many today.

Today I will fill my day with friends for at least two hours as we help some good friends of ours raise support for their upcoming mission trip to Belize.

Christmas List

Growing up, I don't recall ever having a Christmas list. In fact, I don't remember ever asking for something specific. (Disclaimer: this doesn't mean it didn't ever happen). Sure, I remember getting specific gifts from my parents. Gifts that I really wanted that my parents just happened to get me: a scooter, a Dallas Cowboys parka, uggs. But I don't recall ever having a formal list.

Is that just the way my family did things or has it changed in recent years?

These days, there's multiple ways of sharing your Christmas wish list with others. Recently Jody at IowaGeek shared her thoughts about having a list. You can also create a list at http://www.yourlistonline.com/ and have it emailed to your friends and family to give them gift ideas for multiple occassions.

So here's my thoughts on having a Christmas list. Some people (like my in-laws) appreciate having a list so that they get you something you like. Others (like my parents) have never asked for a list but have always given me something I like/want. Perfect example is the blouse I'm wearing today was a gift from my parents - not something I asked for but I love it. Personally, I can see benefits both ways. I like having an idea of what to get Ryan and have utilized his list more than once. The thing I don't like about the list is that I have to make sure with those I share the list with that we don't both buy the same thing. And really what fun is it when you're done opening gifts at the end of the day and none of the gifts are a true surprise. Sure, you may not have known who was buying which gift, but you still got the things on your list.

Twice recently I have started a wish list. Eventually I feel selfish and delete the list. Then I consider keeping one in my journal just in case people ask but never have written anything down.

Christmas is just a few short weeks away. I just might create a wish list afterall...

Better Late than Never

Last night I finally saw the pictures that Uncle Mike took at Grandpa and Grandma's 65th wedding anniversary celebration. Here are a few fun ones:

This first one is of the girls (and Scott who snuck in the photo) after our meal at the Tea Room. Apparently this place gets used for actual tea parties and it was fun to dress up in the old hats and boas.
This is my favorite photo of G&G with the great grandchildren. I particularly like this photo because Bethany is throwing a fit, Grandma is trying to manage her wiggly body, while Grandpa watches on, Isaac isn't sure about the whole situation and Scott is snickering at his sister.
And of course a family picture. Getting all of us to look one direction and smile would take a professional some effort! Bethany was thrilled her her sucker and could care less about the family photo!

Thanks Uncle Mike for taking and sharing pictures with the rest of us.

Makin' Cookies

This morning we woke earlier than I hoped and went to my Nanny's house. The word is out to everyone now that I'm in CA so it was no surprise. However, Great Gram was surprised to see me there right away this morning and really surprised to see little Bethany. Of course, Bethany jumped right up to the counter to help Great Gram make cookies (even though Gram was making raisin pie). The two of them had a blast and I'm guessing that the ingredients and therefore the pie won't be quite perfect. It may even have a smidge of a taste of oreo here and there. But the two of them had fun and I even heard Great Gram say that this just made her day.

I'm so glad for the opportunity to be here. Today the family gathers at 4pm to have a celebration of life service for my Uncle James. It will be good to see those who can make it.

Also to note, I couldn't wait to really surprise Kristine so I did call her last night from my dad's cell phone. She was still surprised to make the connection with my voice and the local number but not as surprised as if I'd knocked on her front door.

Long Few Days

It's been a long few days.

We began with a celebration for Ryan's Grandparents:
- Late to their house Friday afternoon after 2 stops that took way longer than needed.
- Scott slept 12 hours that night - with a little help from our friend Ben A Dryl.
- Saturday the whole family and we had a nice meal in town.
- Got to meet Eric's special friend Amanda. We think she's special too.
- Mom called to say that they were losing my Uncle James - he had surgery on Wednesday and never breathed on his own again after that.
- Family left and we headed downstairs and snuggled on the twin air mattress for a while digesting the coming loss of my Uncle.
- Mom is leaving to CA (yes, she just returned from there) to be there for her sister.


We wake up before 6 to our son needing a potty break. He happened to burp up a little substance and told us he threw up in his mouth. I wish that was the only interruption to our morning plans.


Just after 6 I awoke again to what I thought was Scott throwing up. It wasn't. He was having a SEIZURE. Yes, another seizure. Ryan dealt with Scott while I ran up and called 911 after a little hesitation. Scott and I took our second trip to Blank's Children's Hospital via ambulance. He was fine but I was floored because he wasn't supposed to have another seizure; he's supposed to grow out of this random-no-explanation seizure. They think it was a febrile seizure even though his temp went down right away. He shows for having some kind of infection (they think strep throat) thus the seizure.

So while we were supposed to be in church with the whole family, we were in the emergency room. We left Blanks and met my parents (who are on their way to CA) at Panera Bread while we got a bite to eat. We got back to the celebration just in time for a quick shower and lunch. We got to visit with family a while more before everyone left.

We had plans of being home for the closing program for VBS. But are ways aren't always God's ways. And He ultimately has the plan in His hands. So, we're taking the advice of the doctor and are remaining here for 24 hours to make sure another doesn't occur. During this time, we're having fun hanging out with family some more.

Thank you Lord for a healthy son!

Kalahari Resort

Well, I intended to share some pictures of our time at the Kalahari Resort. Thinking my hubby loaded all of them to my ipod, I started this post. Only to find out that he loaded the first half (that I had downloaded onto his laptop) onto my ipod and the rest are still on the camera... so here's what I'll share for now:
My meal Wedneday night. We started with coconut shrimp for an appetizer. They were awesome. My meal was a stir-fry that I didn't appreciate and thanks to Fort Dodge Animal Health, I was encouraged to order something else. I then ordered the coconut shrimp dinner and it was lovely. I couldn't believe it came out looking like this:

On our way back from supper, we stopped on a little rock for a family picture. Scott was less than thrilled to be taking the picture but Ryan smiled nicely and Bethany looks all grown up.
While at the African themed resort, God kept gently reminding that I wanted to love a child in need in His Name. I couldn't believe that the entire resort was full of reminders (both fun and historical) of Africa. I wanted to take their decorations home with me.

It was good to get away for a few days. An early morning coupled with no nap and a little boy who wouldn't poop made for a difficult day. But we did enjoy time with Ryan at lunch, a short visit to the waterpark, and eventually nap time. Thursday went much better when they slept in and we went to the waterpark first thing. I won't admit that my soon pooped (just a little) in his swim trunks at the waterpark some time before we got to the toilet. What fun to clean up! I will tell you that my son who is not adventurous (doesn't like the slide, doesn't ride a bike) loved the big waterslides where he had to ride a boat! What fun. Maybe more of those pictures in the coming days.

Email to Meg

I just shared the following in an email update to a friend but thought it was blog worthy since I've not taken the time to update lately:


that's hilarious... I love the bribery. I think you pretty well know what's going on in our lives but here's a quick update: We're working out 5 days a week collectively although I wish I could force/encourage myself to get on the treadmill the 3 days that Ryan works out. We're going to bed earlier because we're getting up earlier. We're trying to cram a days worth of fun, training, and snuggle time into a few short hours at night and loving each moment with our kids. We even tried splitting up the bunk beds in Scott's room last night and putting Bethany in a big girl bed. For some crazy reason, I thought this was a fun idea at 740pm, the time that my kids needed to be in bed because they were lacking naps yesterday. To no surprise, it didn't go smoothly and after laying with Bethany for 45 minutes and her keeping me awake, I crawled into my own bed. Half an hour later, Bethany was crying and Scott was in our room informing us that "she's too noisy and can sleep in her own crib." It was delightful actually to have him request that as he had previously been upset when we tried to take her to her crib. All this at 10pm when I want to be asleep was funny but not really funny!

otherwise, for me personally its really been a rewarding but tough few weeks. I've been trying to daily have quiet time. I'd been doing well with prayer time and not just asking God for and to do things. But, I wasn't learning about Him, His character, His love for His people. So, I've been trying to do a daily quiet time. The last few days I've sucked at it but overall its been going better. Its amazing to think that 7, 8, even 10 years ago I was so much more focused on loving and knowing God... of course that was before a career, marriage and two little kids. I'm trying to find the middle ground on that... on being successful in putting God first, not just wanting to do that.

On more of the family front, we're continuing to pursue adoption and while we're saving money, I start asking myself all these questions. I'm determined to be aware and knowledgeable but to not let the devil discourage as it seems can happen here and there. We know that ultimately we want to obey God's calling on our hearts to love and care for one of His own who doesn't otherwise have a family to do that. I'm excited to see how God will work that out but not excited to endure the struggles that may come. I know growth comes out of that but sometimes I just want it so easy, ya know.

Uncle James

Thanks to everyone who has and will take time out of their day today to pray for my Uncle James. His surgery is at 10am our time. Please pray for the doctors, for my Uncle James and for his wife, my Aunt Janie.

Praise God that the last 6 months have been a blessing on their marriage, probably not something they'd experienced in their 30+ years of marriage so far.

Last night as I prayed with Scott, his precious little 3 year old mind couldn't understand why "cutting Uncle James open" would help fix his heart. My son specifically prayed saying "and God, please don't let the doctors cut him all up tomorrow". Friends, I'm thankful for the heart of my young son, praying the best he knows how. Please join me in praying that the doctors can fix this heart that's physically broken and that God can heal his spiritually broken heart!

Update on 2/4:
Uncle James is doing well. He had some complications with bleeding which scared the family but he went back into surgery and they got that fixed. He also struggled with some fluid on his lungs which affected his breathing rates and that kept him in ICU until later on Monday (his wife's birthday). He's in a normal room now and sounds like he's moving right along with the healing. Thanks for praying!

Sorry Honey

Yesterday Ryan and I had one of those moments where we didn't agree at all. I wanted an apology for his dumb mistake and for him to acknowledge that he needed to pay more attention to the small details. He knew he made a dumb mistake and didn't need a reminder. Of course I reacted and even raised my voice quite a bit (maybe even to a yell which I don't think I've ever done to him before). We were both a little on edge at first and he went right downstairs to either let off steam or avoid me! By evening, we were just fine and made sure to discuss it again before we hit the sack. Sorry honey that I reacted. Would it be better for me to just tell you what I wanted?

Playing with Gifts

Scott loves to help in the kitchen so I thought a little apron would be a perfect gift. He was less than thrilled when he opened it but as soon as it was time to serve dessert, he grabbed his apron and was the cutest little server. He left it on for hours and loved it.

Bethany got a little kitchen set that she just loves. Here she's feeding her Grandpa with a spoon. She has played non-stop with that thing, even when it was dark in the living room and the rest of us were in the kitchen. She is ADORABLE!

Uncle Eric is so great with the kids. Both Scott and Bethany love getting attention from him. Here Bethany and her Unky Eric are playing in a box and using it as a drum. This child is easily entertained if you refer to something as a drum. She loves music and noise in general!

DX Family

Ryan's Grandpa B owned the DX gas station in his home town for many years. To my knowledge, Grandpa B's dad owned it before that. In our home, anything with a DX logo has special meaning. The other night while waiting for Scott to be done on the toilet in the basement at Grandpa's house, I found this old hat. While it doesn't get much use any more, I thought it would make for a few cute pictures:

(this picture is of Ryan's cousin, Tyler. He really liked the hat.)

Tired of Thanksgiving Meals

Saturday Ryan smoked the turkey and prepared another Thanksgiving meal. That was much appreciated. I'm not much for left overs though and after having them for lunch yesterday, I couldn't force myself to have my 5th Thanksgiving meal. I opted for two rolls instead. I was sorry for it later when hunger made me sick. Gotta love that that happens to me. If I ever wanted to do a food "fast", my body doesn't allow it.

In other news, we had my inlaws over for the evening and it was fun to watch both of them play Guitar Hero on the Wii.

Life Changing

We've been reading a book with our small group called "love and respect". It has really opened our eyes on how we treat our marriages. An email from one of the wives this morning, got me thinking. It really has been life changing for us. I'm learning how to respect Ryan in ways that he spells respect. And Ryan is learning to love me in ways that I speak love. It's great. Ryan has been taking out the trash on a regular basis without my asking. To me, this is one of those things that he should automatically do. Recently I'm excited to say that he's doing it. Hmm, I hope there are ways that I'm showing him some/more respect.

Last night

Last night we watched a show where a family adopted 8 kids. Some from Haiti and some from the inner city. I was blown away by their love for others. Tears filled my eyes and I turned to Ryan and said something like "I wanna adopt".

Life Happens

A quick photo update:

Scott rubbing aloe vera lotion on his sun burned face. He came downstairs with it all over. It was too cute!
Bethany loves to go out in the shop with her grammy. She can be found sitting next to Grammy on a stool playing with "toys" while Grammy quilts. This and meal time are the only times you can find this child sitting still.

Daddy reads to Bethany just before she goes to bed.

Aunt Janie finally taking a picture of the tree with beautiful fall colors after talking about the tree for 5 days.

Great Gram, Aunt Janie and Scott go for a walk to the park.

I hate waking up to a dark sky and have a hard time dragging my butt out of bed when its dark. But the gorgeous sunrises I see as I head to work make it all a little better.

Wii weren't the only ones having fun with our new toy. Ryan's parents and grandparents could be found playing the Wii last Sunday at our house

Right after a nap is not a good time for Great Grandpa to hold Bethany... but a cookie might make all the difference.

California in pictures... so far

Okay, so I uploaded some pictures from my camera. They are most recent to oldest (all 3 days worth)... The kiddos with my precious Grandma. She has had two heart surgeries in the last few months and I thank God that I had another opportunity to spend a little time with her. We ate lunch with Grandma, my cousin and my dad at a local favorite, Sal's.

Yesterday we spent the day shopping. We saw a few people briefly (my sister, my friend Amy, my uncle James) but we mostly shopped. I added a cute purse to my collection (thanks to Renae for sending me a few recently). This can double as a diaper bag and maybe even an overnight bag! It was quite the bargain at $12. Got it at a store that sells stuff the local malls don't sell right away. I also bought some cute shoes there but found out they were different sizes when I tried to put them on today. Guess I'll be going back there!

The next few pictures are from our trip to Pismo. Not seen in these pictures are Ryan (he took most of them) and my dad (I should have uploaded one more). We ate at the famous "Splash Cafe", and played on the beach. To my amazement, the only shopping I did was for a bucket and shovel since the local Wmart didn't have one.

You can't tell real well from this picture but I drew Scott's name in the sand and then he sat in the "O" for a picture.

Probably one of the most exciting parts of our trip was surprising my Grandma and Aunt Janie in the Denver airport. They had a short, short lay over so we met them at the gate and walked them to their connecting gate. We stopped long enough for a hug and a picture. Grandma's face when she realized the wacko lady that was talking to her was me: Priceless!

umm, good

I'm a simple girl, especially when it comes to food. This morning as I dropped the kids off, mom invited me to stay for breakfast. As usual, I was in a hurry to get to work and thanked her for the offer. So, like the awesome mom that she is, she made me breakfast to go. Where I come from, almost anything can go in a flour tortilla. This morning on my way to work, I thoroughly enjoyed a fried potato burrito with bacon. I know you may not think its anything extravagant and its not. But I love fried potato burritos. It was so perfect... even though I didn't stick to my "diet" for the morning.

With that said, its my boss' birthday and he brought donuts... if you're gonna sway from eating healthy, you might as well make it worth it, right?

Update from the land of Oz:

Okay, I'm not really in the land of Oz, but it sounded like fun. I'm actually kinda sorta at home. I'm actually working in a nearby office this week helping them with some contract paperwork, planning and reporting. It's an hour drive from my house but fortunately I get to stop at our area office (about 7 miles from my house), get one of their vehicles and head to the flat lands. My miles and time driving are all on the government dime. Here are a few highlights from this office experience:

• I already know the staff here. I made plain to the boss here that I didn't appreciate feeling like I was expected to answer the phone when the secretary was out. HELLO, I'm NOT the secretary and I don't even work here.
• Planning is so much easier when working in the flat lands.
• Being able to work [almost] interrupted allows me to get a lot more done.
• This office is much smaller and I'm working about 3' from the next guy compared to having my own corner to hide in at my regular office.
• The boss here is receptive to change and makes a point to ask me if I need anything. I appreciate a little feedback from him.
• People here cuss like sailors... maybe worse. Lots of swearing and using God's name in vain, which I don't appreciate.
• Woo hoo, I might be saving a few dollars on gas this week.

I'm starting my day early and ending late (which is normal for me) to give me more time here. I get back to town just in time to pick up Scott and head to Vacation Bible School. Here are a few highlights from my week with the 3-Pre-k kiddos:

• I quickly learned that God has not gifted me to teach 12 preschool kids!!!
• I had one little boy pee his pants twice last night... and he's potty trained.
• The creators of this material must not have realized that 3 and 4 year olds can't read.
• It is way cool to hear Scott rattle off the different verses for each day.

With the hours I'm working followed by VBS with preschoolers, it shouldn't surprise you that I'm whipped each night when I get home. Last night was the first night this week that I was able to stay awake while Ryan and I prayed together before bed!

I love my mother-in-law but I'm sure some of the wise-cracks I say to her don't speak love at all. I entered this contest to win the "Daughter In Law Rules" book. Cross your fingers...

4 Generation

I've been working on Bethany's scrap book lately. I had a picture of generations of Buitenwerf's. I asked Ryan if he wanted to write a little something for that page. He came back downstairs an hour later with a very cool page to put in her scrap book. Only it was 3/4 of a page long and I was thinking something that would be 2"x4". I saved what Ryan wrote to be used later in her book. Saturday was the perfect opportunity to capture a 4 generation picture to be used with the history. With one wiggly baby and lots of cameras taking pictures, this is what we came up with:

And since we were taking pictures, why not take a few more right? This picture is Ryan's paternal grandparents, Ryan's parents and us.