05 August 2012

Two in a Row

I guess posting two days in a row is possible when you're laid up on a couch.

While I struggle with being still, and accomplishing "nothing", this is a much needed rest.  For some time I've been in what seems like a constant state of exhaustion.  Is it because I'm no spring chicken?  Is there something more going on?  I began paying attention to some of the little things going on.  I would list them but it might be too much information for you.  Needless to say, I finally went to the doctor and asked the "spring chicken" vs medical issue question.

The physician's assistant thought there might be several things going on.  She also thought they might all be tied together.  She ordered blood tests and an ultrasound.  By the next day, with my exhaustion worsening (maybe because I'm up late watching the olympics at night), the results were back on the iron test.  Surprise, surprise, my iron was low.  I would soon be adding an iron supplement to the hormone treatment I had just started.  For someone who doesn't like to take any meds, you can imagine my frustration.  However, at least now we were starting to have some answers to the exhaustion.  With just one more test, I was seeing light at the end of the tunnel, or was it just light headed-ness from the exhaustion and heat mixed with new "drugs" in my system.

On Thursday I headed over to the hospital for an ultrasound and laughed when they said I would need a mammogram.  Angry that this was new news to me, I laughed because it's impossible to squeeze "nothing" into something.  Anyway the technician was sweet and everything about her deameanor and words led me to believe that it all looked normal.  When the radiologist finally came in, his voice carried no emotion and he said "well, with bilateral pain like this, it doesn't typically say cancer" and then he paused.  As he paused, I think my heart skipped a beat and I was trying to run through my mind what he said again while CANCER seemed to be the only thing that stood out.  The radiologist has zero bedside manner.  He should have totally worded it differently and started with words like "no worries...".  In the end, it was good news.  I was so dumbfounded my him that I didn't even manage to get my question out: so if it USUALLY doesn't mean cancer, how are you sure that I'm fine????

I left his office with a new level of exhaustion while at the same time being so, so incredibly thankful that I didn't walk out of there broken-hearted as sometimes happens to people.  I went from there to the chiropractor because my back was already problematic at that point.  It amazed me that my chiropractor seemed more interested in getting to the bottom of my "issue" than my doctors.  I don't want a band-aid fix, I want to know what's causing the hormone issue, the low iron, etc.

As I lay here on the couch again, I thank God  for this time of rest.  I'm thankful that it's been a continual, refining  process.  I'm so, so dissapointed to be missing the Sunday School class, and I would love to worship with my church family and set up for Vacation Bible School.  But I'm thankful that, as we prepare to go into a wild week of VBS, I chose not to commit to teaching this year which means if need be, I can lay on the couch each night of this coming week.

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